Smile's Sweet,Not so Innocent and Oh so Miserable

Mid March right before Scarlet was born Ry started breaking out in hives at first I started freaking out thinking it was bed bugs and how I was going to take care of it before the baby came. I realized if it was bed bugs then Ian would be covered in them too since they share a room. We took her to the dr and it was hives, over the next week after tons of research we thought it could be scarlet fever but that was ruled out and we were referred to dermatology, Amazingly they got her in the very next day. Scarlet fever was ruled out and we were sent home to wait a month because at that point they were only acute (lasting 6 weeks or less) and until they were chronic(6 weeks or longer) there wasn't much else they could do except keep her comfortable taking 20mg(2 tablets or 4tsp liquid) of zyrtec a day and 2 tsp benydryl every 4-6 hours as needed just to stay comfortable. When we went back a month later my poor girl was still covered in hives and miserable at this point it was chronic he gave her a prescription for a months worth of prednisone and told us to return in a month, she took it and the whole time she was miserable and crabby unable to sleep and HUNGRY. When it came time for her appointment in June we ended up having to go out of town for a family emergency so we had to reschedule, they cant get her back in until August. She got about 2 weeks relief from the hives once she finished off the steroids and spent that time in TN with my mom. But on the way home July 11 she started breaking out again on the way home. By Saturday she was not only covered in hives her hands, face. and feet were starting to swell I gave her some Benadryl with no relief, so we took her to the er. They gave us the run around there is nothing we can do for you but give you a script for steroids, you should also watch the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead", and see one of our dermatologists. I told them over and over I didnt want another dermatologist but they referred us anyway. On Monday I called her dermatologist and they put it in as red flag high priority and the nurse called us and told us that he is to over scheduled and since he is booked into October he cannot fit her in the schedule but reccomends if we have more problems to go to the er(who did nothing) or see her primary(who told us previously when we called theres nothing we can do we have referred you to dermatology). At that point I started calling allergists I was at the point. I want answers before school starts there is no reason she should have to sit through school so miserable again that I am called twice a day to see if its ok to give her benydryl. There were days she was so miserable that I couldnt send her to school because her hives were so bad. All the allergists in our area require a refferal someone on fb told me about one is Springfield (2hr drive) but the schedule just didnt work. So I called Childrens Hospital in St. Louis they were booking into October and don't put priority on patients because all of the children are sick. But they gave me the number to 3 dr's that spend time there but have private practices. I called them and found one that could get us in on Friday the 26 a good day for us and we could spend the weekend with family. We went and were told that we will probly never know the true cause. But they seem to have found some medicines that are working to keep her comfortable. They kept her on the Zyrtec twice a day, they added pepcid 20mg twice a day, Singular 5mg once a day, and Atarax 12.5mg every 4-6 hours as needed. She also told us to call and let her know how it's working before school starts, if its not getting better she said she would order blood work but send to a nearby lab so we wouldnt have to drive 3 hours to get it done. And to come back in 3 months I forgot her medicine the other day we were in a hurry to get somewhere. She asked about it while I was getting the baby ready and then forgot. She started breaking out and swellling while we were school shopping. I felt so bad but also was wanting to test it to see if she had just cleared up or if the medicine was working. Good news is she has only had to take the Atarax twice since they added the Singular the day we went to the allergist and the other day when I forgot her medicine. Sorry this post is so long and thank you to anyone who made it this far. but just wanted to let you ladies know why I have seemed to be MIA and whats going on im our crazy world right now. Hopefully its getting better!

It Feels Like Forever

It's been so long since I've posted, and things have taken a big turn. Two years ago I was only dreaming about adding another little on to our clan, now its actually happening and SHE will be here in just a matter of weeks (she's due 03/21) its coming up fast. I have been eating rather well this time around we have cut out most of the beef (the ground stuff) and have been using turkey. I actually get really bad gas from ground beef now (eww right). But things are looking up. After the baby gets here and I am cleared by the dr. I plan on starting The Couch to 5k Running Plan to get ready for Color Run in St. Louis this summer I can't wait and am extremely excited.

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Amazing Giveaway Opportunity

A Few of My Favorite Things is hosting an amazing giveaway from Shabby Apple for one of their dresses not only are they beautiful but modest as well.

It feels like forever.

Sorry I haven't posted in what feels like forever but things have been so hectic around here lately. But with further a do the holidays are over and I'm back

I once again have fallen off the band wagon and am back at square one when it comes to dieting I was doing so well too. But with our vacation to Florida coming up I am here to tell you about my next adventure in the dieting world The Sacred Heart Diet. It looks drastic but whenever in doubt eat soup :)

My Conversion Story

I was recently asked to tell my conversion story at a fireside, but the only thing that keeps running through my head is why my story its not that exciting or remarkable, so I have decided to share it with you and then maybe get your feed back and you tell me "Is my story exciting or remarkable"

It will be 6 years in January since the day I was baptized but my story started about 6 months earlier when my sister told me about the missionaries visiting her, she explained to me that she invited them back because of how cute were, and then asked me if I was working that day, I was off work so I told her I would sit with her. I don't know about you but when you hear the story of Joseph Smith the spirit touches you, lingers there and makes you want more. After sharing the story Joseph Smith I was then asked if I would  read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it was true. I agreed they gave me a few scriptures to read then we set up a time for them to come back. I read those scriptures, pondered them and prayed I didn't 100% have that confirmation that I needed but I was getting there. At the end of the next meeting I was invited to take a tour of the church and I agreed. I was picked up by a member of the church that invited me into her home for lessons and to family gatherings, and made me feel like part of the family, even before I joined the church. That night after the tour while reading my scriptures as I read 2 Nephi 26:25 (Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: ^aCome unto me all ye ^bends of the earth, ^cbuy milk and honey, without money and without price.). The spirit came told me that this is the true church.
I was ready at this  point to be baptized but there were still a few hurdles that I needed to overcome, so I took the little stop smoking lesson from the missionaries. I wasn't sure if it was going to work so I had a back up pack at home just in case. I did all the things that I was asked during the lesson, smashed the cigarettes and everything, but that night Satan was right there telling me that I needed a cigarette, so I got one out and took one puff it was disgusting and I put it out.
The next hurdle was the fact that I was on probation for some trouble I had gotten in a few years before over a fight with my mom. The mission president came and did my interview and I explained to him what happened. He then asked me to write a letter to him explaining what happened so he could in turn write a letter to accompany it to President Hinkley. I don't know what President Hinkley saw in me or anything about the confirmation he received from Heavenly Father, all I know is I  was granted the ability to be baptized.
Not to long after I was baptized I moved out of my grandmas house and became inactive. I lost touch with the wonderful family that welcomed me into their home and family. And during that time made many bad choices I broke every aspect of the word of wisdom, had 2 children out of wedlock, and there are probably other things I can't think of right now. But I came back. When ever I was down I could call the missionaries and they would come share a message with me.
I don't know why and will most likely never know why I was chosen to join this church when I did, but I do know that it is true and that Heavenly Father answers our prayers, even when the answer is something we don't want it to be. I love every one that has ever been there for me and I'm sorry for hurting them when I went inactive and stopped communication I didn't mean for it to happen. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

I shall forget not

note: if this is unreadable I apologize for I wrote this post through tears.

Ever since Women's Conference and listening to President Uchtdorf's talk about the forget me not I can't seem to get it off my mind especially when it comes to my weight.

Every time time I try a new diet and I don't see the results that I want within the first week I get discouraged and give up and just settle with the fact that I am going to be FAT forever. Patience is not my virtue. I guess this is where the first petal comes into play for me FORGET NOT TO BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.


I then think of my longing to get the motivation and encouragement that I need to drop the weight by being a contestant on The Biggest Loser. I don't want a big payday (yes it would be nice), it's not necessary.I just don't know if I can give up my family if I am given the opportunity. So that brings me to the second petal FORGET NOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GOOD SACRIFICE AND A FOOLISH SACRIFICE.

I also ponder why I just can't be happy with me for who I am putting all weight and past issues aside. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children so full of life and happiness and I feel like nothing. I don't have to motivation to get off the couch most days. And that brings me to petal number three. FORGET NOT TO BE HAPPY NOW.

Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to learn the truth of the gospel when I did, since I didn't seem to use it then. Why such a wonderful plan was wasted on me when there are so many other people in this world that the missionaries could have taught. Petal four FORGET NOT THE "WHY" OF THE GOSPEL.

I don't know why but I have a hard time letting others in even God, I am so used to people giving up on me that I eventually just gave up on myself. I don't even feel worthy enough to be loved by anyone. Petal five FORGET NOT THAT THE LORD LOVES YOU.

I know that all of the things that President Uchtdorf said are true I just have a hard time sometimes when it comes to me and my weight.

I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me I just don't know what it is.

I also just sit here in wonder trying to decide whether or not all the time I am putting into trying to cast for The Biggest Loser is a good sacrifice or a foolish one.

I have forgotten how to be happy and don't know what I can do to bring it back.

I don't know why I was given the chance at the gospel at that time but I know there is a reason behind it I just don't know what it is right now.

I know Heavenly Father loves me, but I also know I need to learn to love myself again.