Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Conversion Story

I was recently asked to tell my conversion story at a fireside, but the only thing that keeps running through my head is why my story its not that exciting or remarkable, so I have decided to share it with you and then maybe get your feed back and you tell me "Is my story exciting or remarkable"

It will be 6 years in January since the day I was baptized but my story started about 6 months earlier when my sister told me about the missionaries visiting her, she explained to me that she invited them back because of how cute were, and then asked me if I was working that day, I was off work so I told her I would sit with her. I don't know about you but when you hear the story of Joseph Smith the spirit touches you, lingers there and makes you want more. After sharing the story Joseph Smith I was then asked if I would  read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it was true. I agreed they gave me a few scriptures to read then we set up a time for them to come back. I read those scriptures, pondered them and prayed I didn't 100% have that confirmation that I needed but I was getting there. At the end of the next meeting I was invited to take a tour of the church and I agreed. I was picked up by a member of the church that invited me into her home for lessons and to family gatherings, and made me feel like part of the family, even before I joined the church. That night after the tour while reading my scriptures as I read 2 Nephi 26:25 (Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: aCome unto me all ye bends of the earth, cbuy milk and honey, without money and without price.). The spirit came told me that this is the true church.
I was ready at this  point to be baptized but there were still a few hurdles that I needed to overcome, so I took the little stop smoking lesson from the missionaries. I wasn't sure if it was going to work so I had a back up pack at home just in case. I did all the things that I was asked during the lesson, smashed the cigarettes and everything, but that night Satan was right there telling me that I needed a cigarette, so I got one out and took one puff it was disgusting and I put it out.
The next hurdle was the fact that I was on probation for some trouble I had gotten in a few years before over a fight with my mom. The mission president came and did my interview and I explained to him what happened. He then asked me to write a letter to him explaining what happened so he could in turn write a letter to accompany it to President Hinkley. I don't know what President Hinkley saw in me or anything about the confirmation he received from Heavenly Father, all I know is I  was granted the ability to be baptized.
Not to long after I was baptized I moved out of my grandmas house and became inactive. I lost touch with the wonderful family that welcomed me into their home and family. And during that time made many bad choices I broke every aspect of the word of wisdom, had 2 children out of wedlock, and there are probably other things I can't think of right now. But I came back. When ever I was down I could call the missionaries and they would come share a message with me.
I don't know why and will most likely never know why I was chosen to join this church when I did, but I do know that it is true and that Heavenly Father answers our prayers, even when the answer is something we don't want it to be. I love every one that has ever been there for me and I'm sorry for hurting them when I went inactive and stopped communication I didn't mean for it to happen. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I shall forget not

note: if this is unreadable I apologize for I wrote this post through tears.

Ever since Women's Conference and listening to President Uchtdorf's talk about the forget me not I can't seem to get it off my mind especially when it comes to my weight.

Every time time I try a new diet and I don't see the results that I want within the first week I get discouraged and give up and just settle with the fact that I am going to be FAT forever. Patience is not my virtue. I guess this is where the first petal comes into play for me FORGET NOT TO BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.

I then think of my longing to get the motivation and encouragement that I need to drop the weight by being a contestant on The Biggest Loser. I don't want a big payday (yes it would be nice), it's not necessary.I just don't know if I can give up my family if I am given the opportunity. So that brings me to the second petal FORGET NOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GOOD SACRIFICE AND A FOOLISH SACRIFICE.

I also ponder why I just can't be happy with me for who I am putting all weight and past issues aside. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children so full of life and happiness and I feel like nothing. I don't have to motivation to get off the couch most days. And that brings me to petal number three. FORGET NOT TO BE HAPPY NOW.

Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to learn the truth of the gospel when I did, since I didn't seem to use it then. Why such a wonderful plan was wasted on me when there are so many other people in this world that the missionaries could have taught. Petal four FORGET NOT THE "WHY" OF THE GOSPEL.

I don't know why but I have a hard time letting others in even God, I am so used to people giving up on me that I eventually just gave up on myself. I don't even feel worthy enough to be loved by anyone. Petal five FORGET NOT THAT THE LORD LOVES YOU.

I know that all of the things that President Uchtdorf said are true I just have a hard time sometimes when it comes to me and my weight.

I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me I just don't know what it is.

I also just sit here in wonder trying to decide whether or not all the time I am putting into trying to cast for The Biggest Loser is a good sacrifice or a foolish one.

I have forgotten how to be happy and don't know what I can do to bring it back.

I don't know why I was given the chance at the gospel at that time but I know there is a reason behind it I just don't know what it is right now.

I know Heavenly Father loves me, but I also know I need to learn to love myself again.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

I feel like a complete failure.....

I don't  know what my problem is I can't seem to ever stick to a diet for more than a week even with the JM diet the food was amazing. We went out of town one weekend and thats when I failed when your driving 5 hours to a destination its so much easier to stop and grab a cheeseburger than it is to eat a salad in the car. I just don't know what to do we desperately are wanting another baby and have been trying since January and due to my weight it is impossible and I need to change I just don't know how anymore.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sorry I have been away

I have been awhile and I am so sorry but my computer is sitting with the geeksquad and Nicks computer only works when it wants to. So I will be sure to update soon.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Sorry I have been away so long, we went out of town last weekend and to no fault but my own I fell off the bandwagon, it is so frustrating and I dont know what to do. I get so tired of failing and not following through with anything. It seems that as soon as I set my mind to something everything changes.

What kind of things discourage you?

Friday, September 2, 2011

sorry I'm late

Hello sorry I didn't post yesterday but the kids had to get physicals for preschool, which turned into shots and BLOOD WORK!!! We then had to make a 5 hour journey to the good old town of Bellflower Missouri. I cheated a bit on the trip but I eat out of boredom and sitting in the car is very boring. So when we stopped I grabbed a bag of pistachio's and even grabbed the kids some freeze dried fruit. But no Nick had to have a Slim Jim (he knows thats a weakness for me). But I just took a small bite. When we arrived at his grandmas house I ate a bowl of cereal (organic flax pumpkin crunch or whatnot) it was really good. I packed some veggies such as spinach and salad, along with some strawberries raspberries and blackberries. Birthday party tomorrow though and I am just hoping that I can not fail tomorrow. After the birthday party we are headed off to the kick off bonfire for St. Louis' Next Biggest Loser. Please Pray for me that I can withstand the temptation of chocolate covered pretzels and other sinful snacks. And thank you for reading my story.
Yesterdays lunch Hummus Veggie Pita good except I couldnt chew the carrots.

Breakfast Burrito this morning Yum

The wrapped up buritto (dont you love the plate)

Much love to you all.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

you'll never know unless you try it

Putting that title in made me think of the Yo Gabba Gabba gang when they are introducing new food "Try it, you might like it" we had an amazing dinner tonight we had grilled steak with red onion, roasted carrots, and warm apple-cabbage slaw. Everything was really good minus the apple-cabbage slaw (but you never know just because we didnt like it doesn't mean you wont). I gained a pound since I started and I know its because I havent been exercising but I am trying to motivate myself to do it. But it is really hard. Please pray for me that I will work up the energy and stuff to actually do the exercising that I need to do. But before you do check out the pictures from todays breakfast and dinner. Here is a look at my breakfast and dinner today.

Whole Grain Waffle with Blackberries Yogurt and Slivered Almonds

Yogurt I added a bit of Stevia & Vanilla with some crushed blackberry and Slivered Almond
Grilled Steak with Red Onion Roasted Carrot and Warm Apple-Cabbage Slaw

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

breakfast for dinner

I know I know this doesnt sound very healthy but it is my favorite since I am really bad about not eating breakfast but always seem to want it. That is why we had breakfast for dinner and I am talking french toast bacon and berries. I did cut out the butter but not the syrup. It was so so so good. I was so hungry just looking at my plate I didnt even take a picture. OK OK. I used Jillians recipe for french toast and Turkey bacon I will share the recipe here in a few just without a photo because I was serious about not getting one.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Why put off for tomorrow what you could get done today.

So I was going to start my diet next week when we went grocery shopping but I know me very well and if I don't start now when next week comes I wont want to do it. So tomorrow is the big day I am going to start my diet. I even tried one of the recipes tonight for "Mexican Pizza" and it was amazing I will share it under the good food tab here in a few and I cannot wait for you to try it. Tomorrow I will be posting my official start day weight and hope that you follow me on this journey.

I did it!!!!

I actually went running the other night. I only lasted like ten minutes but am so proud of myself because I thought I would only last like ten seconds. I probably could have gone longer but when your out running at eleven o'clock at night people seem to think your some kind of criminal and I had no music Smiles and E-man seem to find joy in taking the cushy part off the ear buds. When I returned Nick looked at me smiled and said "Well that didn't last very long." I just wanted to look at him and scream "HELLO I HAVEN'T DONE ANY EXTENSIVE EXERCISE IN 5 YEARS JUST BE GLAD I LASTED THAT LONG!!!!" I didn't get any exercise in last night but I do start my new diet next week I am going to follow Jillian Michaels diet plan. I was so excited I get to try the first 30 days for just $1.00 and it excites me that I am not wasting money on something if it doesn't work. but I think it will, and I think I will have great success.

Much love to you all.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Adding to my list of healthy habits I need help with.

When I created this blog it was mainly for me to talk about my trials and triumphs on my journey to become healthy both spiritually and physically. But I feel a need to add to that list and it is really important I also need help becoming Financially healthy.
Recently Nick's work has been really slow I don't mean just losing a few hours here and there. But I am talking about having a week off work at least once a month. This has been a real struggle for us since we used all of our savings before we moved here trying to keep our house from going into foreclosure. Unfortunately that didn't happen we lost our house in April 2010. Ever since we have been unable to rebuild our savings and have been living paycheck to paycheck.
Fortunately it looks like things are picking up, and there is even talk that they are closing one of their plants on the East or West coast and moving all of their work to the facility here.
So I hope my followers can give me hints and tips that I can use on my journey to become financially fit.!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The most Amazing Opportunity

This was an amazing experience something that I never thought I would have the opportunity to do. And just knowing that I had the support of so many wonderful people behind me not only from cafemom but also on facebook as well as my wonderful husband and family.

The day started at 6am when we crawled out of bed and packed up our hotel room so that we could get to the mall where the casting took place. We arrived about 655 and I was #158 over a thousand(600-700 more than expected) showed up and were lined up all around the one wing of the downstairs and all around the upstairs. They handed the application out about 915 and stapled pictures to them I was so embarrassed about my pictures but realized that if I make the show I am going to be showing my ginormous flap of fat every week and this is only the beginning.

I got into the room about 1130 and the group of twenty-four was split into two groups of twelve one group for each of the casting directors. And there was ten minutes. I was with Holland "Mastercaster" Striplin, she was the nicest person. We went around the table and everyone introduced themselves(I'm Randi I'm 25 I have 2 kids and I am a coupon clipping swagbuck loving Domestic Diva). She then asked a few questions like; Why do you want to lose the weight (for my family so I can watch my kids grow up.) What is the first thing you will do when you drop the weight (honestly I will take my kids to the park and chase them around.) and If trainer Bob Harper were to reach through the TV and snatch your snack out of your hand what would it be(pretzels and french onion dip.). Then time was up and we were free to leave.

It all happened so fast I was amazed but a really awesome experience. I didn't get a Call Back but I'm OK after a lot of prayer for comfort it was answered. I will make my video this week and if not then I will just keep trying. I just hope they found what they were looking for in St. Louis.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This is going to be fun.

I am so excited to announce that I am auditioning for The Biggest Loser in August. I am kind of nervous well, What if I'm not what their looking for? What if i freeze (doubtful but could happen)? In all honesty I am afraid of leaving Nick, Smiles, and E-man for that long with very little contact. I know Nick will be fine but then the What ifs start settling in What if the kids forget me? What if something happens? The time frame also puts me gone at Christmas and Smile's birthday and home right before E-man's. It's going to be hard but I guess when I look at the brighter picture I know Heavenly Father is watching over me. I knew that when they brought auditions to my home front. So yes I am excited and yes I am scared but I am continuing to pray for guidance that this is the right thing for me and up until this point it is. So I am going to continue on my journey.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Have you traveled The Road to Damascus

I have been for awhile now wondering where my life went and why for so long I was just waiting for a miracle to come, just hoping that by faith I would be saved. But what I learned today I realized I was just waiting on the road that so many follow. The Road to Damascus the talk given by President Uchtdorf during April's General Conference. Why does it take us losing out on so much to realize the things that were there all along? I myself don't know the answer to this question because I myself had a long wait on this road myself. The thing is that sometimes we have to trust in Heavenly Father that he knows what he is doing. I have come to realize that we all struggle we might not struggle with the same things, but the one thing that helps me is the strength of those around me that survived these same struggles when I thought I was the only one.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I feel like a Failure.

I have been trying different diets for awhile now trying to lose weight. Everytime I fail though I dont eat bad but its my soda intake that throws my calories way high and makes my body unable to burn enough to lose weight. I have been trying to cut down and am doing well with 1 or 2 a day (believe me thats good). I also dont have a drivers license so I cant just go to a park with the kids and walk.

I am so afraid that I wont be able to see my kids grow up. I wont be able to witness the day that they graduate high school or when my little E man serves his mission. I am so afraid. I want to witness my children getting married in the temple, and the miracle of birth when they have children of their own.

I am at a loss and ready to give up I have thought about casting for one of those weight loss shows where I will be pushed to my limits and beyond (thats what I really need).

Monday, May 30, 2011


I know this diet isn't the best one around. But I have a lot of weight to lose. 150lbs to be exact and this is the only way I can justify doing so. I know this is going to be a long haul but it will also teach me to eat healthy and portion control. and as I have learned today it will also motivate me to do other things than eat. it motivates me to do house work to keep my mind off of food.

Friday, May 20, 2011

I just made a really hard decision.

It may not seem hard to some but for me this was really difficult. And my family seems to think I am making a big mistake. We have decided to home-school the children when it comes time for them to start school. I have even found a religious based curriculum. That teaches gospel principles within. It is a learn at home Private School. Nick and I Being Converts to the church this is something I look forward to. I look forward to this  mainly because even though it will just be basic gospel principles it will teach Nick and I so much more than we know now. I know we are making the right decision and am so glad to have made it knowing that it will benefit my children the most.
If you have any advice feel free to leave me a comment.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


Its been about a week since my last post and I am sorry. After they deleted the blog I was very discouraged. But I am back now. I made some cake pops for Smiles Headstart Graduation tomorrow. Of course after I bought the ingredients, and had the cake balls made waiting in the refridgerator I recieved a note from the school asking for non-dessert items. Oops. THEY ARE GETTING CAKE POPS. SORRY!!

My Hubby and I are taking the kids to my grandmas on Saturday and she is going to keep them for a  few weeks so that we can do some work to the house. I am sad that they wont be here but also excited to get things done that I really can't do with them here.

We are going to pick them up the weekend before fathers day because Smiles is wanting to participate in our county's Little Miss pageant. So we are going to let her participate She is so excited

Saturday, May 14, 2011

End of year field trip.

Yesterday my Little Tyrant and I had the opportunity of tagging along with Smiles and her class on their end of the year field trip. We had so much fun we went on a nature hike. That was definitely much needed exercise. A few of the other parents and I decided that we would return for dinner and allow our kids to play for the evening it was a great day. I can't wait to go back and want to take the kids camping there this summer sometime. I can't wait.